Do you feel like you’re the only Mom who suffers from anxiety, depression, anger, or whatever it is you struggle with? This is is why you should speak out about your pain…
Last week I posted about my struggle with anxiety and self-neglect during my brutiful 11 years of motherhood. Since then, I’ve received dozens of messages from Moms I know, Moms I don’t know, and even some dads (thank you to the Dad who had the
balls guts to approach me during my daughter’s band concert and talk to me about my post! I so very much respect your bravery!). These Mamas have shared with me their raw darkness. And in most of these cases, they admitted that they too keep their struggles a secret (like I did for so long).
Why did I choose to keep the chaos and fears of my mind a secret? Why are these Moms doing the same? Why can’t we give ourselves permission to not be okay?
Like most of you, my mind runs 24/7 on its hamster-wheel so I’ve spent lots of time over-analyzing this. Here’s my take…as Moms, we feel so blessed to have children, that we feel guilty for being anything but happy and “all good.” And if we’re being candid here, as Moms we’re the glue that holds our families together, right? So we think if we aren’t okay, our families’ worlds will crumble. So we smile, and we “do.” We do the laundry, do the meal-making, do the house cleaning, do the boo boo kissing, do the Class-Momming, do the nursing, do the sleepless nights, do the diaper changing…we do all.the.things.
And while we’re doing, we smile (especially when in public) and say things like “I’m great!” or “Everything’s wonderful!” But deep in our hearts and worn-down souls, we’re not always fine and wonderful. Truth is we’re overwhelmed. Under-appreciated. Anxious. Depressed. Exhausted. Deprived of exercise. Panicked. Unhealthy. We’re hanging on by a thread. But its the the guilt we have or feeling like a “Bad Mom” that holds us back from acknowledging and confessing about our sometimes darker-side of motherhood.
For some Moms, this may not be the case at all! And to those Moms I say…”please teach me your magical ways!” But for the 5 years I’ve been surrounded by Moms through my business, I believe a lot of us often suffer in silence.
In recently sharing the truth of my own imperfect, darkside of motherhood, I’ve seen a Domino Effect. When one of us shares what’s truly under our skin, it empowers other Moms to accept and share their own messy truth – whether it be anxiety, depression, loneliness, anger, addiction…or whatever! Sharing our stories brings us together. A friend posted this quote the other day and it spoke to my heart and soul: “There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.” –Maya Angelou
Moms who reached out to me after reading my post, thank you for commiserating and sharing your stories, your pain, and your behind-the-scenes struggles of motherhood. I hope it brought you some of the peace I have felt since sharing my story.